Here is a bedtime conversation between a mother and her son.
Son: Mom, I’m feeling a bit anxious.
Mom: What are you like when you’re anxious?
Son: I can’t sleep. My mind keeps thinking that bad things will happen, then I will get scared, and my heart starts to beat fast.
Mom: Why are you anxious?
Son: I don’t want to talk about it.
Mom: I understand. Are you worried that I’ll scold you, so you don’t want to tell me?
Son (nodding): I just want to tell you that I’m anxious. What can I do about it?
Mom: Can you tell me the bad things you keep thinking that will happen?
Son: I’m worried that my teacher will scold me tomorrow, that I’ll get detention, and that I’ll be nervous and might even cry when the teacher scolds me. I don’t want to cry.
Mom: It’s good that you care and get nervous when the teacher scolds you. It’s natural to cry when you’re sad. Tears are our good friends; they tell us about things we care about. So, it’s good if you cry.
Son: But I don’t want to cry in front of others, it feels embarrassing.
Mom: I understand. It can feel embarrassing. Try to hold it in, but if you can’t, tell your tears that you’ll find a place to cry later.
Son: But I’m still feeling anxious. What should I do?
Mom: Is your anxiety coming from yourself, or is it related to others?
Son: It’s related to others.
Mom: Is it because it will affect your relationship with them?
Son: Yes.
Mom: I’m glad you’re someone who values relationships. Does he know you value your relationship with him?
Mom: Did you try to tell him that you are sorry?
Son: I tried to send him a message, but he didn’t reply to it.
Mom: Did you say or do something you shouldn’t have?
Son: I think so, but I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to joke around.
Mom: I understand. You’ve sincerely apologized, and he choose to either accept or not decline it. Maybe he needs some time.
Son: But I’m afraid he’ll snitch to the teacher, and then the teacher will punish me.
Mom: If you really did something wrong, it’s right to be punished by the teacher. Taking responsibility for your actions and bravely facing the consequences is admirable. I believe that after experiencing this anxiety, you’ll know you value relationships and don’t want to hurt others. You’ll be more mindful in the future. Is that right? You know where the line is when joking around do you?
Son: Yes, Mom, but I’m still feeling anxious. What should I do?
Mom: Would you like to pray together and trust this matter to God?
Son: Yes.
So, the mother prayed with her son, handing over their worries and remembering the classmate, hoping he would be well. After the prayer,
Son: Mom, but I’m still feeling anxious. What should I do?
Mom (gently patting him): I’m here with you. But I think this anxiety will only truly end tomorrow. I can stay with you and deal with the anxiety together. Besides our Heavenly Father, both Dad and I love you, so don’t be afraid. No matter what happens, we love you.
A few minutes later, the son fell asleep. After school the next day,
Mom: Is your anxiety still there?
Son: No, it’s gone. My classmate replied to me in person at school. We also played together today.
Brothers and sisters, every emotion can help us understand ourselves. Only by dealing well with our emotions and understanding what we truly care about behind them can we make more appropriate decisions for ourselves. Of course, dealing with long-accumulated emotions requires more time, love, and acceptance. May God’s grace help us.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
Rev. Ping Li