“Tofu and BBQ Pork Belly with Rice, makes the Romance of Men” — this is from a Chinese article made well-known by Air Supply, a member of a Hong Kong group named Golden Forum, 14 years ago. In the article, he vividly portrays what is “men’s romance.” Another phrase, “Men love Gundam, that women don’t understand!” Why do men adore Gundam and have a fondness for robots? What “Gundam” represents is precisely the desires within men’s hearts: strength, power, and a glimpse into the technological future. These two phrases highlight the stark differences between men and women — their perspectives on romance and how they pursue their dreams. Thus, effective communication and mutual understanding are crucial.
The “Men’s Group” at MAC is trying hard to look for a place to enjoy a plate of “cheap yet delicious” tofu and BBQ belly pork with rice. Sharing a meal is very much a romantic endeavor! Men often express their emotions through actions. We are a group full of emotions; however, when it comes to expressing them in words, we have yet to put in some effort to learn.
“God breathed life into us, creating whole beings (Genesis 1:27). (Genesis 2:7?) Yet, for some reason, we have excluded the emotional part from our lives, deeming it unreliable, irrelevant, or secondary. Many contemporary discipleship models elevate the “spiritual” aspect of our lives, placing it above physical, emotional, social, and intellectual dimensions. However, biblically sound theology does not permit such division; and humans are holistic beings. This has deeply inspired me, motivating me to renew the approach to discipleship training.
“A mature Christian cannot remain emotionally immature.’’ If there is a hot-tempered Christian, who is zealous in service and well-versed in the Scripture, it is challenging to describe him as “spiritually mature.” Some people say, “Emotions are the language of the soul, cries from the heart… Yet, we often turn a deaf ear… denying, distorting, or isolating emotions. We fear and feel ashamed of thoughts emerging from our inner world. When we neglect our strong emotions, we are deceiving ourselves and missing excellent opportunities to know God.” God-knowledge and Self-knowledge are interconnected. The theologian Calvin said, “Lack of self-knowledge prevents true knowledge of God. Almost all wisdom we possess, genuine and substantial wisdom, consists of two parts: knowing God and knowing oneself.”
I am grateful! In the years when growing up in my faith, I had some experiences in emotions training. Firstly, in a fellowship group training in my first church; secondly, in a spiritual formation group led by the passionate Pastor Chan Yu in the part-time DipCS program at the Chinese Graduate School of Theology (CGST); and thirdly, in the MDiv year 2 all-male spiritual formation group, guided by a professor experienced in counselling. Experiencing the brotherly camaraderie in Christ is profoundly beautiful! Naming ourselves the “Nine Princes of CGST” (note: we used the term “princes” because it sounded better than “men”), we have journeyed together for nearly two decades. These experiences have taught me that for men to reach emotional maturity, training is essential. The best platform for nurturing emotional maturity among men is a men’s group, where we can learn, share, and grow freely.
Launching “Men’s Romance” is the initial step in fulfilling my mission to “disciple-making for the Lord” and prepare suitable vessels for Him. May the Lord use us!
Rev. Alex Yip